The Gratitude Experience

Five years ago, I was staring out of my master bedroom window watching my children play outside in the beautiful green grass. I watched with pain in my heart as they ran freely with the open land and  mountains as their backdrop.  I felt a twinge of self pity as I thought of my current circumstances. I was bed ridden most of the time, my new medication wasn't working, and financially I knew that with my health condition, medical bills, and loss of income, we were in the process of loosing everything.

Then to add despair to the current misery, I thought about how freely my children were running. I thought about how before my current health conditions, I would be playing and running with them. The heavy weight of loss was beginning to pour upon me.

In despair and self pity, I prayed to my Heavenly Father, "Why am I loosing everything?" The emotions were overwhelming. But just as it was about to consume me and throw me into a whirlwind of depression,  a loud and clear voice came to my mind almost as if  He was yelling at me.

With vigor and zest He proclaimed,   "At least you had it!"

Taken back by the "still small voice" who was not being still or small, all the consuming emotions paused in my mind.

I was shocked and amused by the response from the Holy Ghost.  Was it kind? Some may say no. Was it validating? Not really. Could anyone else have said it except for Him ? Probably not.   But somehow, in that moment, that was exactly what I needed to hear.

Stunned at the answer, I thought it would be wise to consider what He was trying to teach me. When I looked out the window the second time, and I watched my kids play, I realized  that for 30 years I ran and played as much as I had wanted ( or didn't want :)!   I ran in high school, participated in races as an adult, and even ran a marathon a few years earlier.  This strong epiphany was followed by a long forgotten memory. In my minds eye,  I  saw myself as a little child running freely as I  played in the yard, ran to my friends house or walked to the store. These memories were vast, rich and enlightening.  And again, a voice full of passion yelled to me, "Jodi! You RAN!!"

 It was as if God was amazed at all that I had experienced, and He was showing me how to celebrate.

Again, I looked outside over my yard, and my house.  But this time as my eyes scaled the details of my home and the beauty that surrounded me, I saw all of it in it's present state, and not in the loss I was anticipating.  I  thought, "Jodi, you HAD this!!" And my heart leaped with joy. It was as if God was giving me my house again, for the first time and only for that day. And it felt like it was a really big gift. One that no one owed me. A gift that could be removed at any moment and that was okay. I quickly began to comprehend that if I never lived in a house again,  if all this material loss was somehow permanent, that I HAD it. I felt amazing!

As I retreated back to my bed, I pulled out my notebook and wrote:

"Today I learned that Gratitude is a mindset. It is a way of being. It is not an moment, it's not a list, its not about your blessings. Gratitude is lens that allows us to see the world as God see's it." 

I felt physically weak, and completely uplifted. And over the years, as I have met many challenges with this disease and with life, I try to remember the power of gratitude and the ability it has to change my view and the direction of my life. 

Here are some things I try to remember: 

* Gratitude is more than a feeling, it is a mindset. It's a lens that helps us see outward and inward. 

* Gratitude doesn't help us have success, it is why we have success.

* Gratitude is the first power that will save our relationships. 

* Gratitude is a state of being present with who we are. 

* Gratitude is the fuel for ambition. It helps you run to something, not from something.

*Gratitude helps you maximize your day. When you realize you have everything that you need today, you can free up your mind to focus on capturing and optimizing the moment that is right in front of you.

So this Thanksgiving, as I share my story with you, I want to thank you for taking time to read this blog, for stopping in the middle of a million important priorities and giving me your time. Thank you for stopping me at the store, at work, at church and on Facebook to remind me that these things are worth writing. Thank you for finding hope in the stories, and joy in the journey. You are truly a blessing in my life. Happy Thanksgiving!