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Today I want to write about this awesome gift we received when we came to earth. Our body.
I was first inspired to explore this topic when my body was diagnosed with Cataplexy and Narcolepsy. And again, the topic was brought to the front of my mind recently when my twelve year old daughter was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.
As we sat in the office at Children's hospital last week, the Doctor clearly told my husband, my daughter and me that the biggest battle with stage 3 thyroid cancer is not survival of the body, but of the mind. Our responsibility is to help Emmilyn (Emmy) understand and learn to live with and love her body. And so I felt inspired to write her this letter:
Dear Emmilyn,
What's up with these bodies? Emmilyn, as you know, we believe strongly that we are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father who loves us. That we were given an awesome opportunity to come to earth to be tested. But do we think of our bodies as a test? When measured against the campaigns you see about loving your body, or your body not being good enough, there is a third space that no one talks about. Loving your body because you have to. Loving your body even when it's not good enough.
Because, Emmy, there is no other choice. Because hating it is not an option. Because if you believe that one day you will have your body back, just as the Savior was resurrected and regained His Body, then one way or another, this is what you have. It's the only relationship that we have to engage in for eternity. All other relationships truly are optional. And quite frankly, don't you think God understands? Don't you think He looks at cataplexy, cancer, depression, etc, and says, "Yes, that is sad. Yes that stinks."
Sweet Emmy, I want to share with you a letter I wrote to my body when I was diagnosed with Cataplexy:
"Dear Body,
I am sorry I criticized the moles on your face, the shape of your jaw, the size of your butt, or the curviness of your hips! I am sorry I ever called you fat, dumb, lazy and treated you like sculpture instead of a real body. I am very sorry. For if I had known what I know now, I would have respected, honored, and appreciated that you are more than just a body, you are the house of an unconquerable spirit!! "
Emmy, I believe God has complete compassion for our unconquerable spirits! I believe God knows that our spirit is stronger than our bodies, that our purpose is deeper, that our desires to fully live, fully be, and fully experience all that is good in the world is there. But these dang bodies are slowing us down!!
And now to the point Emmy. Here are some principles to consider when you think about your body:
1. It is a gift.
Your body is a gift from God, even with cancer. I remember the day you were born. You were so beautiful. Your body was so small, and you had so much to learn. You were the most precious baby in the world. Your body was a miracle to us. It allowed you to come to earth, a perfect, beautiful spirit needed your body in order to come here. It needed it, all of it, in order to experience everything that God has to offer, including joy and pain. Sometimes this gift can be an awkward, complex package, but it is a gift, not only for you, but for those who get to be around you.
2. It does not define you.
Your body does not define who you are. Your spirit gets to define who you are, and your body, your gift, gets to come along for the ride. Remember, your body is a gift, but your spirit defines you.
3. It will teach your forgiveness and you can pass that on to others.
Emmy, your body is messing up pretty bad right now. It gave you cancer. If anyone on the street handed you cancer, you would be pretty hurt and irritated. You would have the right to feel annoyed and even upset. Jesus taught us that He is the way, the Light and the Truth. He is the reason for our joy. He taught us that we can rise above our experiences, and that through Him we are made whole. With that clarity, and joy, He also taught us to forgive. Forgive your body for being mortal, and you will find it easier to forgive others who are also mortal. Forgive your body for not protecting you against this disease, and you will be able to forgive your own mistakes, your own short comings, and in that process and the relationships that blossom, Emmy, there is hope and freedom.
4. Whatever is broken can be fixed one day- so don't stress too much.
Through all of this, remember that whatever is physically broken, whatever disease, loss, or imbalance that happens, God has promised that one day our bodies will be perfect! Please don't ever think of your body as permanently broken. Nothing is permanent. One day, you will be resurrected to a perfect state, whole, beautiful, cancer free, and perfect, so don't stress to much. These physical trials are temporary.
5. Dream beyond what your body can do- and then keep trying to do it.
Above all, keep dreaming beyond what your body can do. Keep pushing yourself to reach new limits and goals. Listen to your body, but only listen to understand its feedback. Let your spirit rule your body. Let your spirit push your body to do things that you didn't believe you could do. Constantly test and push your body to do things your body thought was impossible. Your body may reach its limits, but if your spirit is still strong, you will be prepared for that perfect body you will one day receive. I hope that on that glorious resurrection morning, you will look at your perfect body and rejoice!! Dream beyond what our body can do, because one day your body will be perfect- so make sure your dreams are ready!
6. Be kind to your body- it holds your spirit
Emmy, be kind to your body. Love it. For now, it holds your spirit. Appreciate everything your body does right. As you look at your scar from your surgery, remember that your body is healing! That's a miracle! Thank your body for everything it allows you to do, run, skip, laugh, talk, breathe, feel, taste, and love. Your body is amazing!! Remember to see the good. It will help you see the good everywhere in your life and this will strengthen your spirit.
7. God gets it- and He wants you to try anyway.
Last, remember that God understands your pain. Our Savior understands what it feels like to be overwhelmed by our bodies and the pain we suffer. He too asked in His hour of suffering, "Oh my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me, nevertheless, not as I will, but Thy wilt be done." He atoned for you, all of you. He understands what it is like to suffer, and He wants you to lean on Him, and keep moving forward.
Emmilyn, along this path, and this relationship, you will hear various messages about your body, the only relationship you must learn to accept and love.
In closing, remember:
The Lord knows you will experience disappointments. Do it anyway. He knows you will experience set backs. Do it anyway. He knows you will often wonder if all of this is worth it. Do it anyway. Because as Mother Teresa said so eloquently, "For you see in the end, it was between you and God. It never was between you and them anyways." This life was never between you and your bodies limitations, it is between you and God. And so in those hours, when you are angry, sad, and mistrusting of what has happened, remember, Love it anyway.
Love you,
Mom
